Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
