so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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