I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
