she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
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Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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