I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
