I think scott just propositioned me for sex
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
