Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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