she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
