I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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