if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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