when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she looked like the before picture.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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