I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
