i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize