you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
