yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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