If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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