I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
