You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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