I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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