Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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