You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
