Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
