What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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