Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize