I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
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Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
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Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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