It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
