That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
