Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
