is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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