I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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