I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
