I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
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Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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