No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
