im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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