Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
