i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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