Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
