Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
