Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
