ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
