I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize