You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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