just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I need a beard to bite.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
