So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
