Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
