There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
love makes seman taste better
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
