i may or may not be watching the land before time
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
