I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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