I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
