Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
