This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
