Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
