i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
