You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
