Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize