i jhust puked up my retainher.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just cropdusted the office
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
