If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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