Pappa wants mamma naked
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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