apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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