P.S. I can't hear my feet
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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