...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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